1. Don’t be afraid to ask to use sex toys, especially ones that you’re comfortable with, like that trusty vibrator that always gets you off. Don’t be afraid that your guy will get offended. If he can have an awesome orgasm, don’t you deserve to as well?
2. Ask him where he plans on coming. I know this doesn’t feel that romantic and can be a little bit awkward to approach, but it’s better than having an impromptu on-the-middle-of-your-back situation that makes you feel sticky and not so good. If there’s somewhere you prefer other than inside the condom, definitely let him know beforehand.
3. Tell him what positions you prefer. Ask for anything specific that you know will get you off. What turns you on? Neck kissing, whatever turns you on before the big moment. If you’re specific, it could even turn into some dirty talk.
4. It’s ok to ask him to stop rubbing your boobs like they’re your clit. If you pretend something feels good and guys have had girls pretending they like it their whole lives, no one will learn anything from the situation.
5. You can ask him if he’s cool with period sex, rather than evading sex completely when you’re really horny, or having an “oops, I guess I got it today” dishonest moment. You’ll be able to tell if he’s a mature adult as opposed to a grossed-out little boy based on this conversation, so it’s a good one to have anyway.
6. Ask for him to go down on you! Or to adjust the technique. Guys sure aren’t afraid to ask for blowjobs, or to tell a girl if she’s using too much teeth, so you deserve to be treated like a princess when he goes downtown as well. The better he makes you feel, the better he’ll feel.
7. Ask him for a condom. Don’t feel guilt-tripped into doing anything without it. This is something that’s fine to be stern about. STI’s and accident pregnancies are nothing to mess with.
8. Also, don’t feel guilty for not going down on him if there’s not a clean or decent grooming situation down there. If it’s a not so aromatic full-grown bush, politely decline and don’t feel forced into it.
9. Don’t be shy about asking to watch porn. No matter what kind it is. Almost guaranteed this will turn a guy on, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
10. Rough sex can be a tricky and sensitive subject to manage. If you want it, ask for hair pulling, give boundaries, give a safe word, and guide his hands. Safe rough is the key.
11. Don’t be afraid to ask to be more submissive one time and more dominant another. It’s not weird to want to jump his bones dominatrix style one time and have your hands behind your back another.
12. Talk to him about how he doesn’t have to last 45 minutes for you to be satisfied; guys can actually think that. Sometimes endurance can just be painful.
13. Ask him to go slower, or to change his method. Don’t be worried about offending someone mid-sex. What’s more offensive is not listening to your own body – hey, he still gets to touch your luscious skin so it’s a win-win for him!
14. Ask for it again, if you weren’t satisfied once. Again, you can’t be afraid of offending someone for the sake of your own pleasure. Try something new this time – dudes just need a refractory period so don’t ask for it incredibly fast after the first session because nobody is Superman.
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